I think it’s due time for keyword salad. Well that, and I really have nothing else to say.

Our full anatomy scan is on Monday. We will be 19 weeks, and 2 days. I’m very excited and anxious for this appointment, as it’s our last checkpoint before we decide to start buying things. So far, we’ve only purchased 2 small trinkets, that were a pure impulse buy. Nothing that can’t be boxed up and ignored forever should the unfortunate happen, but after this SUCCESSFUL (look how good I am at the positive thinking here!) scan, the gloves come off.

To be honest, I must say, that I’m actually nervous to start shopping. It’s going to make it feel even more real, and that scares me. Shelby and I are in this awkward holding pattern. We’re anxious about our full anatomy scan, but at the same time Shelby *thinks* she may have felt movement (a wiggle, worm, or flutter) but it’s been very faint. She’s suspicious, and wants to chalk it up to gas, mostly because it’s simply too good to be true. Then she won’t feel anything for a day which ups the anxiety level. Sure, every website tells you that early movement is subtle, and infrequent, but still… Damn, can’t it be November already?!

Anyway, enough rambling, onto Google provided humor;

can you tell you’re pregnancy day of IUI

You’re wondering if you’re “pregnancy” the day OF your IUI? Well, Mrs (Mr.) impatient, I do believe in PUPO, but man, I hope your first IUI works, becuase it’s a LOT of waiting. Now, if you’re wanting to know if you’re pregnant the day OF your IUI, Google’s good, but “tell the future good,” I think not?

+1 to using the little known apostrophe in you’re
-1 to for “you’re pregnancy”

naked shelby, i love shelby, shelby butt

Ohh, I think Shelby has a stalker! Now, “naked shelbys,” you’ll have to send me proof. Shelby’s like a cat when the camera comes out. I’ve never seen anyone move so fast to avoid a snapshot.Shelby butt? Good luck seeing that because it’s usually firmly planted in front of The Sims 3, in bed, or watching Deadliest Catch with me.

fear of lab coats

Can I get an AMEN? I hate handing a “sample” to them. There they are, looking all smug in their perfectly white lab coat, staring at the dude who just pleasured himself. I see you and your mocking eyes! I swear, my brow is always this sweaty. I wonder if they make fun of the samples? “Ohh, this one seems a little lighter than the last one…”

intrauterine insemination a woman’s perspective

Hmm, I think I can sum this up in a few words;

Oh god please work, please work, ow, ow, ouch!, please work, I hope they didn’t mix up the baby batter, please work, OW watch it doc, please work, please please please.

Booooooooob dirtyoldgrandma

Yes, Johnny, if you’re grandma has a Booooooooob then she is, in fact, dirty. One big, uniboob full of old saggy dirty skin. eww.

I can imagine the person searching for booooooooob. I bet it was a 14 year old boy, with a computer and internet connection alone for the first time. He was SO excited to search for boob that he just got carried away with the “o” key.