Please note that this post is about our pregnancy. Oh, and it’s really mushy too. Come back later in the week if you’re just not “feeling it” today.

By the way, to make reading my site a little easier, I’ve added “This post mentions” above most of my blog posts. Don’t forget to check that out before reading anything that you might find yourself not in the mood for.

Throughout the course of our marriage, I’ve found myself constantly learning what “love” means. Now, I find myself doing again. Today, May 5th, marks the day Shelby  and I first met. Our story isn’t that unusual. Boy meets girl. Boy finds girl REALLY cute. Boy wants to get in girls pants and so on and so forth.

Shelby and I met on a blind date while we were in high school. To fan the high school drama flames, we were set up by my ex-girlfriend’s best friend. She thought we’d hit it off and I agreed. Like most kids in high school, there was only one logical choice to meet: Starbucks. The plan was to be introduced over coffee accompanied by a comfortable buffer of mutual friends just in case there was no love connection. If things were looking good, Shelby and I were to spend some alone time at the second place high school kids go: Golf Land. Ahh, Golf Land; where arcade games, miniature golf and flirting are plentiful. Shelby and I hit it off, and the rest, well, the rest is history.

Over the 13 years that I have known Shelby, I have constantly re-evaluated what true love really is. Just when I think I’ve figured it out, I look at Shelby and realize that there is so much more room in my heart for love. I could easily go on for pages about how she is an amazing woman, or about how she can light up my world by just a simple glance in my direction, but this post isn’t about her. Well, it’s not about her directly…

On May 4th, Shelby and I find ourselves sitting in yet another doctors office as we wait to be called in for our NT scan. Honestly, we’re not worried about the scan, but since we’ve been collecting ultrasounds by the dozen, we figure it’s a great excuse to see the baby. Sitting in the uncomfortable office chair, I realize that I’m feeling an entirely new feeling at a doctors office. My silent, stomach turning  panic and fear has been replaced by something foreign. It takes me a while to place it. It’s… it’s… excitement. For the first time in 5 years, I am no longer afraid of a doctors appointment. I’m truly, 100% happy. 100% excited. For the first time ever, I’m looking forward to seeing our baby on the ultrasound and not being afraid. There’s no caveat. There’s no doubt. There’s just peace.

Our name is called, and we head into the ultrasound room. I’m greeting by a warm room and a huge flat screen TV waiting to show me our baby. Our scan was perfect (pending blood test results of course). It also marked the first ultrasound we’ve ever received that was using a doppler, and not the intimidating looking dildo cam. Well, intimidating to MOST men . As the NP presses on Shelby’s belly with the doppler, our beautiful baby is shown dancing on the screen. I’m amazed and awe-stuck. It no longer looks like a bean. There’s a baby! On the screen!

As I watch the flutter of the heart beat, stretching of arms, movement of legs, the doctor invited us to count fingers and toes. I never thought the count of 1.2.3.4.5 could be so amazing. I sit back in my chair, gaze over at the doppler on Shelby’s belly and a warm, peaceful, comfort washes over me. It’s unlike anything I’ve experienced before. I realize what it is; Love.

Love, redefined.

I’m staring at Shelby. I’m staring at her belly. I’m dumbfounded. Floored even. I feel so humbled by her and our baby. Here I sit, on the eve of knowing Shelby for 13 years, and I’m in love all over again. In an instant, my heart is broken down into the very core of my soul, only to be instantly rebuilt by this new and redefined love. I realize that not only do I have the room in my heart to fully and completely love Shelby, but I realize there is a new feeling there. It’s unconditional love at first sight. I fully and completely fall in love with this new creature on the screen. Love, for me, has been redefined again. I feel so full right now. So excited for the future. So in love with my wife and the little one inside of her.

Today, as I stare at a picture of our baby from the ultrasound, I realize that my understanding of love is truly changing.

I love Shelby.

I love this unborn baby.

I am slowly understanding this redefined love; By loving this baby, I’m falling in love Shelby all over again.

If there is one lesson I can teach our baby, it’s about true and complete love because it’s already teaching me what love really is.

Allow me the simple pleasure of sharing what love looks like;